Pre Marriage Counseling: How To Stay Happy Forever
There are lots of good reasons to look into pre marriage counseling. If you want a happy, long lasting marriage there are a few techniques you should employ to ensure that you and your spouse’s lives are happy and loving. Surprisingly enough… what makes a marriage last in the long run is surprisingly simple.
Couples with successful marriages aren’t smarter than those with failed marriages… they aren’t richer, and they don’t really have any secrets that you don’t know about.
So what makes these couples work?
I finally made my marriage work!
Typically people who make it in marriage strike up a dynamic in their lives that allows them to keep their negative feelings about each other from overwhelming the positive feelings. An effective pre marriage counseling program should teach you how to stay in touch with your spouse and teach you how to love, honor, respect, and trust your spouse.
Don’t get me wrong… happy couples do fight… but these fights never lead to tensions and resentments that cause some couples to stop talking. If you and your spouse stop thinking positively about yourselves your marriage starts to suffer. This happens a lot when people fight… they carry resentment and tension until there is so much static that you get emotionally detached from each other.
An effective pre marriage counseling course should teach you effective conflict resolution. There are many techniques you can use… but the basics all teach you one thing. They teach you how to communicate your basic acceptance of your spouse’s personality. Click Here to learn how I finally made my marriage work.
What’s that mean exactly?
When you and your partner get in an argument about cars, money, kids, or anything… You need to remember one thing: You have to communicate your understanding of where your partner is coming from. When you employ this understanding you minimize your partner’s feelings of judgment, misunderstanding, tension, and rejection.
If you fail at this basic task of understanding your partner your problems both big and small start to really build up and they prevent you from remembering why you and your spouse got married in the first place. Most marriages end because a husband and wife have some many skirmishes that they start to avoid each other and distance themselves from each other.
A method that pre marriage counseling should teach you is to diffuse fights by not blaming your partner for your problems. You can do this by starting your statements with “I” instead of “you.”
When you start statements with “you”, your statement comes off as accusatory and condescending. This type of statement puts the person you are talking too on the defensive… it makes you seem as though you are blaming them. When you use a statement such as I feel like you don’t do enough you break the tension.
Using a statement like this does address the conflict… but it makes your partner feel as though you are not attacking them. It is an effective method that any pre marriage counseling course should teach you. Click Here for more info about how I saved my marriage.