Counseling for Marriage: Tips to Help Resolve Conflicts Effectively

counseling for marriageAre you sick of hearing the same old counseling for marriage advice from everyone? Everyone knows that you have to improve your communication if you want to lead a happy life with your spouse. That’s obvious… I’m sure you’ve heard it over and over again.

It’s common for therapists to approach conflict in a certain way. Therapists generally attempt to try and make you understand your partner by putting yourself in their shoes. That’s fine and dandy… if you are capable of doing this and resolving your feelings of anger. I personally have a very hard time doing this in the heat of the moment… and arguing at this point is not productive.

So what are some methods you can employ to ensure that your anger doesn’t get the best of you? Click Here – Get more info on these methods.

Counseling for Marriage Tip #1: When arguing you can complain… but make sure not to place blame.

Hypothetically speaking, let’s assume that you are angry at your spouse because they bought a dog… a dog that you didn’t really want to clean up after. Finally your spouse convinced you to cave after they promised that they would be responsible for the mess. There were promises made and you were lead to believe that you would never have to clean up after the dog.

But now, you are constantly stepping in poo every time you venture out into your back yard.

How should you respond to this?

People who do not know how to effectively communicate will blame their partner for their incompetence. They may say something along the lines of “This is your fault. I knew that you couldn’t handle cleaning up after a dog.” This attempt at communication may be justified… but it really is not effective. I learned how to communicate effectively – Read My Story Here.

What should you say?

counseling for marriageIn order to be confrontational without being hostile you would be better off saying something along the lines of, “Hey, there is poop all over the back yard. We agreed that you would be responsible for cleaning up after the dog. I feel pretty upset about this.” This gets your point across without sounding like an attack on your spouse’s character. Taking this approach will probably get your spouse to clean up the yard without the tension, anger, and resentment of the first example.

Counseling for Marriage Tip #2: When you have something to say try to start your statement with “I” instead of “you.”

This is a little psychological trick that makes whatever you are saying come off as less harsh. When starting a statement with “I” instead of “you,” a person comes off as less critical… which causes the person that you are saying this too to be less defensive and angry.

Which statement would you rather your spouse say to you?

1) You never listen to me.

2) I would like it if you would listen to me.

When you start your statement with I you say things much more gently. You avoid all of the anger, tension, and resentment that come along with “you” statements.

Sure you could use an “I” statement that can hurt your spouses feeling too. Please never say something like “your stupid!” The key to this counseling for marriage trick is to use “I” statements as a chance to express how you feel while getting your point across at the same time. The less you accuse and the more you concentrate on your feelings the better off your relationship will be.

Need more info?

Click Here & Save Your Marriage!